It is launch day for Blizzard’s latest expansion for their World of Warcraft franchise, Warlords of Draenor, and here you are stuck at work while your friends are all pwning noobs, killing orcs, scoring epix, and getting to level 100 faster than you. But don’t worry, whether you ran out of vacation days because of those pesky holidays that require attendance at family functions or you have a jerkbag boss that doesn’t game, those of us at MOARGeek feel your pain and we are here to help you get through your day.
It’s still early in the day, so the folks who have been up since midnight PST have either passed out at their computers while auto-running or are in that half-coma state drooling on themselves while they farm mats for their Garrisons. Updates and bragging will be slow, so this is probably the best time to get all of the work done that you can. Throw on your headphones and check out some new albums released this week: Sonic Highways from the Foo Fighters, Queen Forever by Queen which includes three previously unreleased tracks with Freddie Mercury on vocals, and The Endless River from Pink Floyd.
These should get you through to mid-day where you’ll have to stop and go for lunch. Make sure to get some delicious comfort food because the updates from your friends are going to start pouring in. Splurge on that chocolate shake and brace yourself for “OMG, the graphics are aaaaaamaaaaaaaazinggggg” and “I’m already level 98 and have my Garrison maxxed out!”. Feel good that you are eating a real meal rather than absentmindedly eating whatever can be made or grabbed in the time it takes for the windrider to fly you to your next destination.
By the time lunch ends, your fortitude starts to dwindle. Time to camp out the handicap stall in the bathroom and cry. Ugly cry. Cry for the last 10 hours of non-WoW time that everyone else has enjoyed and you have had to be a responsible adult for. Let all the rage and anger out on the probably-filthy floor but don’t think about that too hard. Your poor toon is logged out in the middle of a dirt road in Orgrimmar or perhaps in front of the guild bank in the Shrine of Two Moons, cold and neglected. This bathroom floor is nothing compared to that pit of sadness.
Once you’ve had out your emotions, perk up. You’ve got t-minus four hours until you can blow this popsicle stand and head straight for your glorious computer chair that is calling your name. Start pre-planning your snacks and drinks so you can set up shop and game for as long as your body will let you for the next 72 hours, because you were at least able to get Friday off and have basically told your meatspace friends and loved ones that you’re essentially dead and won’t be able to be reached until you come out of your Warlords of Draenor euphoria.
Find the Warlords of Draenor Soundtrack on YouTube (or from this awesome article on the internet), jam out to it all afternoon as your impending freedom approaches. Completely lose all concentration for non-important things and fully immerse yourself in the Twitch streams, the tweets, live-updates, and anything the internet will give you to get your Warlords of Draenor fix. Tap your fingers. Bounce your leg. Expend the pent up energy from the anticipation in a productive way that isn’t causing bodily harm to those that dare get near your cube. Count the minutes as go-home-and-play-WoD-o-clock gets painfully close.
Be freed from work. Rush home. Collect snacks. Get your video game marathon pajamas on. Boot up the beautiful ol’ computer. Log in. Enjoy the friendly faces and quell the brief moment of rage that they’re all level 94. Find the other poor saps that had to work and go run into one of the starting zones together. Profit.
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